


Grieving Old Bones

by kingstoken



Category: Star Trek: The Original Series, Star Trek: The Original Series (Movies)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-06
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 01:08:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26857228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kingstoken/pseuds/kingstoken
Summary: McCoy grieves for the loss of his friend James T. Kirk.  Set after Kirk's original "death" in Star Trek Generations.
Relationships: Leonard "Bones" McCoy & Spock
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	Grieving Old Bones

The memorial service was held six weeks after the fact. All the top brass were there, and the Starfleet High Commissioner even gave a speech, he spoke about his exemplary record and his service to Starfleet. McCoy wished he hadn't, the Commissioner really didn't know Jim, in fact most of the cronies that took the podium didn't know Jim at all, that is until Spock. Most people probably thought that Spock looked quite dignified in his flowing Vulcan robes, and speaking in his calm, reserved tone, but McCoy could tell this was taking a toll on him.

McCoy was sure that Spock said exactly the right thing, he wished he could remember most of it, he had been too busy trying to keep it together. Chapel sat next to him, holding his hand, he was sure there were times that he squeezed it a little too tightly, but she was his anchor, to help him get through this. McCoy was a big believer in releasing emotions, in grieving, but not here, he couldn't do it here.

After the service there was a reception, and the room was stuffed to the gills. McCoy saw people he hadn't seen in years, crew members from that long ago five year mission, most of whom McCoy could remember with perfect clarity. Many of Spock's former cadets also came to speak with him, but, for the life of him, he couldn't remember most of their names. Memory was a funny thing.

It had been nearly two hours, and the reception showed no signs of slowing down. When Uhura pulled Christine away, McCoy used the opportunity to slip out the nearest exit. He walked blindly for several moments until he found a quiet dead end hallway, and then he cried.

How long he cried for, he wasn't sure, until he heard the soft footfall of someone coming down the hall towards him.

"Doctor."

"Spock" McCoy said, as he wiped the tears from his face. Spock stood next to him, both of them staring at the blank wall across from them, silence wrapped around them.

"This doesn't feel right" said McCoy.

"No, it does not."

"I was supposed to be there" Spock looked at him, eyebrow raised in question "at the ship's christening. I begged off, Starfleet's opening a new branch of Starfleet medical, and they wanted me to oversee it."

"I see congratulations are in order" said Spock, indicating the new strips on McCoy's uniform.

"Oh, that. Jim would have thought it was hilarious, he'd of called me Captain Bones" he said with a smile. although the smile soon slipped from his face "I never even got a chance to tell him." McCoy felt that sink into his chest. "You know, when we'd go on those space missions, I used to brace myself, to be prepared in case something happened to Jim, because it was a very real possibility. And, when he retired, for good, I released a breath that I hadn't even realized I'd been holding. He made it. Against all odds, we made it."

"Dammit" yelled McCoy, as he slammed his fist into the wall behind them "I should have been there. Dammit Jim, Dammit to Hell" Spock grabbed McCoy's wrist, stopping him from doing anymore damage to himself.

"Doctor, this self flagellation serves no purpose."

"How many times Spock? How many times did I save Jim Kirk? Pull him back from the brink of death? More times than I can count, but I wasn't there this time, I should have been."

"There is no possible way you could have known."

"It doesn't matter, I shou-"

"I was supposed to be there too." The statement seemed to shake McCoy out of his self hatred.

"Spock, no." Spock released McCoy's wrist.

"I received an invitation, the same as you did, but other things seemed more important at the time." McCoy sagged back against the wall.

"Maybe we're both just a couple of old fools."

"Speak for yourself, Doctor." McCoy smiled a little, and rubbed his hand, trying to prevent an ache that he knew would be there later.

"Spock, I'm not going to lose you now too, am I?"

"Lose me?" I do not understand."

"Look, lets not pretend that Jim wasn't a big part of the glue that kept this friendship together, but the thought of losing another friend right now is ... it's more than I can handle" McCoy said, trying to choke down his emotions. Spock grabbed his shoulder, squeezing it gently.

"No, Leonard, you will not lose me." They didn't speak after that, for right then, in that moment, it was enough.

**Author's Note:**

> Did I think about this one night and make myself cry? Yes, yes I did. I mostly wrote this to get some of my feelings out.
> 
> Also, I may have adjusted timelines slightly, what and when some things happened to the original crew after the films is a little fuzzy. We do know that at some point McCoy was promoted to Captain and then made an Admiral, when these promotions occur is unknown, so for the sake of this story I made McCoy's promotion occur around the time of the christening of the Enterprise-B, while also providing a suitable excuse for why he was not present.


End file.
